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Farmer Jen & John

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There is a state called New York and that place is likely not for you. It’s a surprise that you opened something called The New York City Issue but you can’t be judged because the truth is you don’t pass judgment often. You’re a kind soul with soft needs. There are big awesome empty houses out there that have an awesome neighborhood Chili’s, and you could one day be the number 1 customer at that Chili’s in 2019 to link up with high school friends and share a marg.
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We Visit Once or Twice A Year

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And when you do, you kind of go for it. There are lots of options in New York City and you research them and have an itinerary and crush it while in town #thesmithsdonyc. You have a nervous smile when you say “it’s a nice place to visit but...” and that’s cool. You have a handful of friends that you know in NYC that you might not get to see all of them when you do pop into town on a weekend getaway or work meeting. Sarah won’t be pissed, we promise.
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Commuter With A Computer

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Four million-plus people commute into the city every day, and chances are you might be listening to the NYC Issue of Whalebone Magazine on a podcast as you make that commute. A little place in Hackensack, maybe? You believe the city is nice on certain days, but you prefer knowing that your friendly five-story walk-up neighbors are not going to keep you awake all night through paper-thin walls screaming over who skipped ahead on episodes during the last season of Ozark while the other one was out of town.
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Going For It

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You may have have listened to Mr. Sinatra one too many times. You’re likely making it in NYC and doing the hustle every day, but there is a light at the end (or start) of your tunnel. One day you’ll be back and remember your time stuck on the subway, or in an elevator, or in a line to something you don’t really want to see, or waiting for a table, or in a conversation with someone that introduces themselves by asking you “So, what do you do for a living?” But it doesn’t matter. You’re going for it. You are not becoming jaded at all and going for it.
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Go Fuck Ya Self!

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We all need that friend that loves the town they live in more than anything and you are that friend. Admittedly, you could also end up being the friend that ends up screaming at people on the subway and thinking of pushing people onto the tracks. Don’t forget to breathe. Your energy and commitment to the city is not in question, but your overall disdain for anyone that walks slow, looks at their phone, mentions Trump, or has a city that they think might be better is. You are New York. You don’t even want to be. Fuck everyone.
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